Love Languages

1) Have you ever heard of The 5 Love Languages? This is not just for people who are in relationships. This is helpful for anyone to discover what kind of person he or she is in a relationship and who he or she might be most compatible with in the future. This is another way we can discover ourselves. We cannot truly love others without first knowing ourselves. Please visit the website at the link below to take the test. I strongly encourage you to have your partner (if you have one) to take the test as well. I guarantee you will understand each other a little bit better after you have both taken the test.

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2) John Gottman, renowned relationship expert, discovered four markers of relationship failure. He claims to predict divorce with 93% accuracy measuring with his four markers.

The Four Horsemen, which is a metaphoric phase, in what Gottman sees as the apocalyptic demise of many marriages.

The four markers are as follows:

· CRITICISM – directed at the person (rather than the behavior) and includes blame and negative judgment

· CONTEMPT –  conveys a strong message of disrespect

· DEFENSIVENESS – avoiding taking any responsibility for the problem, and instead deflecting it back toward the other person

· STONEWALLING –  one partner withdraws from a conversation, either by clamming up or by physically leaving the room and the discussion


3) Psychologists agree that solitude is vital to our health and well being. Sometimes people confuse solitude with loneliness, but they are defnitely not the same thing.

Please explain the difference between the two.

4) When referring to a sexual relationship, passion is usually first to appear. Passion involves sexual desire and physical attraction. Passion builds then fades, whereas intimacy and commitment continue to build. Intimacy includes, trust, caring, warmth, honesty, and a deep level of understanding and knowledge about each other. From this, we can determine that intimacy must develop over time. Commitment is the conscious decision that one loves the other person and is willing to make certain sacrifices to maintain that relationship over the long term. This also takes time.

How can we keep passion alive?

5) on research, the greatest factors that influence divorce are as follows:

· Personality – Neurotic people are more likely to divorce.

· Demographic factors – Those from lower socioeconomic status (SES) are more likely to divorce. SES is educational background, income, and occupational prestige combined)

· Age –The younger the couple, the more likely the divorce.


6) Based on research, premarital counseling increases the success rate of marriage by 30%.

What do you think?

7) Love is an intangible thing and we know how difficult it can be to describe intangibles. When I begin this topic in my ground classes, we start by defining love. Some struggle, while others have a clear definition in mind. After they write their definitions, I ask them to compare their definitions with others. The variations are endless.

What is your definition of love? What has influenced your concept of what love is?


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Love Languages was first posted on April 7, 2020 at 10:47 am.
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